TECHNICALLY EVERYDAY IS MOTHER’S DAY – ISN’T IT?

Well, it’s upon us again, that time of year where we set aside one day, one very Special day to Celebrate & pay homage to our Mothers.  We scramble around the mall with thousands of others trying to pick out just the perfect token of our Love for her along with that card which contains those words that seem to speak from our hearts and are sure to bring her to tears.  Like the year before, she will most likely tell us that she doesn’t need anything but a hug and our love, yet we feel the need almost the obligation to shower her with “things” to show her how much we love and appreciate her.

Home is where Mom isIt isn’t until we begin to grow up and hit our teen years that we catch a glimpse of the many hats our Moms wear in the family.  She takes care of the house while maintaining our calendars of academic & social commitments, not to mention playing the role of the unpaid taxi driver shuffling us to & from activities.  If there is more than one child in the family she is like a full time Executive Assistant keeping everyone on a time schedule while juggling all of her other duties, and usually working full time outside of the home.  It is Amazing & Exhausting.  Once we blossom into young adults we finally begin to realize exactly how difficult her job is and that it is truly never-ending.  Our appreciation continues to grow as we enter relationships, marriage and parent-hood.  It is like a light bulb is turned on and we finally say, Wow, Mom was right, or Wow, I had no idea what being a Mother entailed.  Funny, if we’d only listened when we were younger.

For those of you that are unaware of the origin of Mother’s Day allow me, via Wikipedia, to educate you. Think of it as your “something new” you learned today. The modern Holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when a woman by the name of Anna Jarvis decided to honor her own Mother, two years after her death and then embarked on a campaign to make Mother’s Day a recognized Holiday.  That holiday began in 1914 & was very popular.  It is a pretty interesting story should you have the time and curiosity to look Ms. Jarvis up on the internet.  Ironically, she never married or had children and she spent her years after the Holiday was born campaigning against how commercialized it had become.  I guess that is a cost you pay once you have a great idea and the world of business finds a way to benefit from it.

For me this is a bittersweet holiday as my Mama passed away in November of 2007,  this will be my sixth Mother’s Day without her.  Each year I still feel the pain of her absence and reminisce about those wonderful memories of love she shared for all of those years, even when I didn’t appreciate it.  Those of you without your Moms know what this feels like & I’m sure that each year you Celebrate, Remember, Heal a bit & Grieve in your own way.    I believe that it is all part of the process we must go through.

249151_514640068598315_2125079181_nThrough my 18+ years of being a Single Mom on Mother’s Day I learned that it wasn’t about gifts, cards or stuff at all.  I learned that Mama was right all those years; it was just about being with my daughter and the people I Love.  There is something pretty cool about being a Mom and spending Mother’s Day with your Mom.  I was blessed that my family was very involved during my daughter’s growth & watching the relationship between granddaughter and Nana grow it always made me very proud & happy.  I was never close to my grandparents so that was a special bond that I really wanted my daughter to have.

I think that sometimes society as a whole forgets that even though the second Sunday in May is the official recognized Mother’s Day holiday, there are 364 other days in the year that are Technically Mother’s Day as well.  After all, you don’t get paid time off for good behavior do you?  And as sure as there were endless errands to run & chores to do today, there will be more of the same tomorrow and the next and the next day waiting for you right?  Maybe someday people will catch on, but until then, take a breath and enjoy YOUR DAY.  Let your kids spoil you.  Let them cook you a crispy breakfast, and pick wildflowers.  Whatever it is they decide to do to show you how much they love you, embrace it and Thank them, because it will be another whole year until they shower you with that much attention again!

Some helpful advice to you would be to make a habit of finding a balance in your world.  Your life as a Single Mom demands 100% of your time and attention I know, and your career gets the other 100% leaving you the person with a negative 100%.  It is so important to start right now a routine of taking good care of yourself.   There people in your life that would gladly babysit for you weekly or monthly while you escaped for quiet time.  Or went to a movie or for a walk.  Whatever it is that feeds your soul.  If you have a set visit schedule with the father, then use some of that time as YOUR time.. Not scramble around the house and finish all of the chores time.   You can’t look after everyone else if your soul is drained.  Some of us are under the delusion that we have to be Super Mom and ON all the time.  Giving and doing for our kids and others.  We have a bad habit of putting everyone else’s needs first.  The sooner we learn to balance that all out and put ourselves into the equation, the happier, healthier and stronger we will be.  Trust me on this one, it took me years and years to learn & incorporate it into my life & it make a world of difference.

The other lesson that life has taught me is that your children watch how you treat your own Mother.  Your kids don’t miss a thing so pay attention to what you say to your Mom & what you say about her, because your children are learning from you how to treat their Mother.  Be a good example.

My wish for all of you Wonderful Single Moms is that you are surrounded with Love, Joy & Laughter on this Mother’s Day.  Never underestimate the power of sharing a meal, laughter & making memories surrounded by the people in your Village who bring you Love.  It creates an eternal footprint in your heart that you can always recall.  It keeps you company when you are sad and lonely; it gives you strength when you feel weak, and it fills your soul with Love if you ever begin to feel like you are running low.

And don’t forget to call those Special Ladies in your life who are your second Moms, your bonus Moms or your Spirit Moms and tell them how much they mean to you & how much you Love them.  They don’t want gifts trust me.  They just want to know that you have received the love they have given.  That brings them so much joy.

A Special message of Love to all of my friends who are Moms, Single & Married you are my continued inspiration.  To my Beautiful daughter who is expecting her second child in September I want you to know how proud I am of the person & Mom that you have grown to become.  I can hardly wait to be NeNe to my second grandchild.  What a blessing the Circle of Life is.  Though our hearts break when a loved one leaves this earth, it begins to repair and refill with love when a beautiful baby enters.  I know that Nana & Papa are watching over you from Heaven and will send light with the baby to surround you.

As always I am sending a Universe of prayers to bring you strength and to remind you of what a Great job you are doing raising your family.  You are not alone & you have so much to be proud of.  Keep up the good work.

Blessing to you all ———————————————-Torie B.

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