Torie B.’s Bio

I was raised in a household with both parents who were married 53 years when my mother passed away in 2007. It was like all of the T.V. shows of the 1960’s, my Dad went off to work each day and Mom was home with the kids, always wearing an apron and always cooking something. So it never occurred to me that when I got married that it wouldn’t last forever. I was sure that I would be just like my parents. But I was wrong; my forever only lasted for seven years.

My daughter was two years old when I divorced her father, so she has no memory of being in a two-parent household at all. I had no idea what a negative affect that would have on her formative years.  It made me so sad.

Growing up, I can’t recall ever knowing anyone who was divorced. My parents had a lot of friends but they always came in pairs, like the animals on the Ark. It was, however, back in the 60’s and maybe people just didn’t speak about it.

As I look back I remember that the only idea of a single parent I ever saw growing up was on T.V., but it was never a single mom, it was always a Dad raising children with live in help. Remember My Three Sons, The Andy Griffith Show, Family Affair and the Courtship of Eddie’s Father? Heck I think even the Cartwright Boys on Bonanza were Motherless. I don’t remember them ever discussing the whereabouts of the mothers. (I guess they were Widowers, which is strange to me because it would seem at that time in history, it would be more likely for a Woman to be a Widow). I wonder if it just wasn’t socially acceptable back then to portray a Woman, Mother, living alone, providing for her children without a Man? Guess I’ll have to “Google” that and see.

Anyway when I began my Single Mom Syndrome Journey, I didn’t have the faintest idea about what my role would entail as a Single Mom. I was unaware of any resources or books that could help me figure out the best way to provide for my daughter, so I found myself just winging it as I went along. It is a tough way to learn life lessons, but it was all I had so I made a lot of mistakes, learned from them and moved forward-wishing I had a house keeper named Aunt Bea, or Uncle Charlie!

Sadly, before I knew it, some of my friends were getting divorced and facing the challenges of Single Motherhood. Since I had a few years under my belt by this time, I was able to provide a little guidance for them. We bonded together to help each other and created a solid support group. It made a huge difference to know there were friends going through the same things I was who understood the bad days. I spent many a dark night after putting my daughter to bed, just crying because I was sure I was doing this whole parent thing wrong and that I was screwing her up for life. It was so scary, but being able to pick up the phone and call a friend who understand how I was feeling and NOT judge me for my failed marriage was a life-saving device that I never took for granted.

So when my daughter turned 15, I began to write notes of what I had learned about being a Single Mom that would be helpful to my friends. Kind of a Gilmore Girls meets Helpful Hints from Heloise thing. Those notes turned into pages and those pages became a book series, which I hope to self publish soon.

My friends and I also began meeting on a regular basis to talk, laugh, cry and provide a safe place to share our fears & frustrations without being judged. It was affordable therapy that we all needed. I would have benefited greatly from a book of practical advice on the business of running a family when I began what I call, my Single Mom Syndrome journey.  So that is my hope for my books, that I will be able to provide Practical advice from my experiences & support for Single Moms everywhere.

I believe in life that it takes a “Village” & that we are NOT supposed to do things all alone.  So I want to help my Village so they can help others.